The Self-Sabotage Trap:

 

Why Being Hard on Yourself is Killing Your Success

(Inspired by Ed Mylett & Neuroscience)

1. Your Worst Enemy is You

    The Mistake: Negative self-talk like "I’m not good enough" or "I always mess up."

    The Science: Self-criticism spikes cortisol (stress hormone), shutting down creativity and problem-solving .

    Fix It: Talk to yourself like you would to a best friend. Example:

        "I messed up that presentation." → "I’ll improve next time. What’s one thing I did well?"

2. Confidence is a Skill (Not Luck)

    The Lie: "Confidence comes from never failing."

    The Truth: Confidence comes from preparation.

        Golden Rule: For 1 minute on stage, train for 1,000 minutes (Ed’s 10,000-hour principle) .

        Action: Master one small skill this week (e.g., eye contact, storytelling).

3. Name Your "Demons" to Tame Them

    Your mind has "voices": The Perfectionist, The Complainer, The Fearful Child.

    Strategy:

        Notice negative thoughts ("Ugh, I’m so stupid").

        Label them: "Ah, there’s The Hyper-Critic again."

        Thank them: "Thanks for sharing, but I’ve got this."

    Why It Works: Naming emotions reduces their power by 50% (UCLA study) .

4. Forgive Faster Than Anyone Else

    Stock Traders’ Secret: The best forgive mistakes instantly—no dwelling.

    Try This:

        Drop a glass? "I forgive myself."

        Bomb a meeting? "What’s the lesson? Onward."

    Ed’s Hack: "Speed of forgiveness = Speed of success."

5. Gratitude Overrides Negativity

    1,000 Thank-Yous a Day: Floods your brain with serotonin (joy chemical).

    Example:

        "Thank you for this coffee."

        "Thank you for the traffic—extra podcast time!"

    Result: No mental space for self-hate.

30-Second Action Plan

    Pause: Next time you screw up, say: "I’m human. What’s the lesson?"

    Label: Identify one negative thought today (e.g., "The Imposter Syndrome").

    Gratitude Bomb: Text someone "Thank you for ______." Right now.

Key Quote

"Self-love isn’t earned—it’s the baseline. You wouldn’t starve a plant for growing crooked. Don’t starve your soul for being human."

Your Turn: Which "demon" (Perfectionist, Critic, etc.) will you disarm today? 

Why This Works:

    Brain Rewiring: Self-compassion activates the prefrontal cortex (problem-solving) .

    Success Proof: Top performers like Joel Bauer and traders use these exact tools.

Bonus: Try *"The 5-Second Rule"* (Mel Robbins): When negativity hits, interrupt it by counting *"5-4-3-2-1—STOP."* Then replace it with gratitude.