Best Motivation Speech from Jordan B. Peterson

 

If you can't suicide, make the task smaller.

If you make the task small enough, you will never fail to progress. But that can be pretty humiliating.

Everything starts with the first step. The smaller the step, the faster you can take the next step—and the faster you progress. The faster you can change your direction and change your life, without frustration and even with fun.

When you recover from a severe disease, you need time and patience to do the same things again.

The Keith Jarrett Example

For instance, you want to play piano and improvise like Keith Jarrett in his famous Köln Concert—but you've never played piano before.

If you have such a huge goal, you will fail. Then every hour you spend learning piano feels like a waste of time.

If you don't believe me, try playing on a keyboard. You don't even have to try playing on a broken Bösendorfer piano, like Keith Jarrett did in his Köln Concert.

How to Fail Again

If you have already failed three times or more, it's pretty hard to try again—because you've programmed your mind to fail.

So how do you avoid that?

Check what you did wrong. Make a big list. Then get coached by another person to gain more insights on how to do it the right way.

The Trap of Self-Focus

The more you focus on yourself, the more miserable you are.

What does that mean? Today's narcissism wants you to believe that you are the most important thing. And so the relationship between you and a problem gets out of proportion.

Instead, focus on the solution to the problem—without interference from your ego. That makes you far more effective.

Even with relationship problems, if you focus mostly on yourself, you can't discover the struggle your spouse has with you. And then nobody knows where the real problem is.

The Solution: Put All Cards on the Table

I'll tell you something: put all your cards on the table. Then you can discover where the real problem is.

Nearly all problems can be solved once we have identified the problem.

For example, if your wife is upset with your child, she might not even know the real reason why. Maybe the problem was with her neighbor, and she projected her anger onto her child.

If she doesn't tell you the whole story, you would think the problem is with your child.

She puts all the cards on the table—and you just listen. Only then can you identify the problem.

Don't assume that you or she already knows the problem. So listen until you identify it.

The Danger of Lying

What if we lie?

You waste your time. After some time, you start believing your own lies.

How can you solve your problems then?

You live in a fantasy world—and your fantasy world will crash. Nobody can help you, and you can't really help other people. For your children and your spouse, you become a nightmare.

Don't waste time. Be honest.

A Funny Story from Paul Watzlawick

Have you read this funny book?

"The Situation Is Hopeless, But Not Serious: The Pursuit of Unhappiness"

— Prof. Paul Watzlawick

In one story, a husband no longer likes eating the cornflakes that his wife has been serving him for twenty years. She complained, saying, "But you said you loved them!"

He replied: "Because you gave me cornflakes on our first day of marriage, and I didn't dare to complain."

Be honest—at every price.

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