Why Fighting Your Feelings Is Making Everything Worse

 

The Problem: We Suppress, Not Feel

We are programmed to make feelings go away instead of feeling them.

We look for distraction—easy to find today—and suppress our emotions.

We think our emotions are our enemy.

We like to be together with happy people, with no drama.

And so we consume a lot of drugs, or we become addicted to social media and our mobile phones.

Look at today's health reports:

60% of children are chronically ill.

10% are autistic.

Suicide rates are at an all-time high.

Depression has never been at such a high level.

Wars are raging like crazy.

The suicide rate of U.S. Army servicemen is five times higher than the death rate on the battlefield.

Isn't this evidence enough to question a society that supports the suppression of emotions?

How Does It Start?

We send our five-year-old child to kindergarten. It comes back depressed.

We politely ask what happened, and then we say:

"Don't see it that way. Don't be emotionally affected. Don't go into your emotions. You see it absolutely wrong."

The message is clear: Suppress your emotions.

Instead, we should let the child cry or express its emotions fully.

Just be there. Comfort it until it finds calmness by itself.

You think that will never happen?

It will happen—it just needs time.

And please, don't scroll on your mobile phone while doing it.

A Personal Story: India

We decided to go to India.

Our journey was very challenging—so many things went wrong.

She wanted to go home. I said: "Go. I will continue."

But she stayed.

She could express all of her emotions, her doubts, her anxiety. She got severely sick twice.

Can you imagine? We went from 45°C heat to freezing snowstorms at 5,400 meters altitude in Ladakh, and then back to 45°C in Delhi and Varanasi.

She couldn't eat the Indian food. She had never experienced freezing temperatures as a Thai person. There was no heating. The internet didn't work.

Shocking or not?

For me, it wasn't—because I'm used to it.

At the end of the trip, she asked me: "Where should we go next time?"

I said: "Africa."

She said: "OK."

Why?

Because she could express all her emotions and never got abandoned or punished.

That is what a true relationship looks like.

What Happens When We Suppress Negative Feelings?

Suppressed negative emotions will:

Make us sick.

Influence our decisions negatively.

Increase our fear level significantly.

Make us addicted to consumption, shopping, distraction, social media, drugs, etc.

Isolate us—because we can't express our emotions, we can't build true relationships.

Suppress our positive emotions as well.

Reduce our vulnerability, sensitivity, and love.

Suppress our spontaneity and creativity.

Close our heart.

Cause choleric reactions—sudden outbursts of anger over minor problems, punishing innocent people.

Lead to projections—blaming others for our own wrongdoing.

Turn us into robots.

The Beauty of Expressing Emotions

Watch a three-year-old child.

They don't suppress their emotions.

They change their mood within five minutes.

When they are happy, they beam with joy.

When they are sad, they cry.

That is the beauty of expressing emotions.

The Solution: Mindfulness

Mindfulness is not about stopping your thoughts and feelings.

It is about learning to observe thoughts and feelings without judgment or attachment.

What Is True Adulthood?

True adulthood is mindfulness—accepting our own thoughts and emotions, and accepting all emotions from other people without resenting them.

How to Learn This?

Attend encounter groups and bioenergetic groups—until you learn to express your emotions fully and accept the emotions of other people.

Just do it.

My Video: Why Fighting Your Feelings Is Making Everything Worse https://youtu.be/c5FOfKBEmEQ

My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast5/Why-Fighting-Your-Feelings-Is-Making-Everything-Worse.mp3